death..

salam..=)

nope, dont worry..the post isn't goin to be as depressed as its title k..
takde kena mengena pun dengan death sebenar nye..more to ghost kot..
and this is totally random..kot..or not so random..pening sudaa..haha..
okay, this is what its all about..
u've watched movies yang bile ones da mati, roh die masih tak move on, still lingers around kite yg idup ni kan? well, it occurs to me, klau betul la benda tu, kalau, kite tak nmpak diorg but diorg nmpak kite..
imagine they're watching every single of ur moves..dalam toilet, dalam bilik..
well, dont deny it..everybody doesnt behave when u're alone..tak kesa la dlm bilik ke, rumah ke..
contoh bile dlm bilik..im not saying naked ke ape laa..but mayb sexy ke, terbungkang, terkangkang ke..
let say hantu tu, hantu boyfriend kite ke, kire nye sumone yg kite behave bile dgn diorg la..
and suddenly they sees everything..get it?
hahaha...betul la benda ni random..
takde keje da aku ni..i'm supposedly be studying right now..
instead i'm thinking bout dis ridiculous thoughts..
k bai.. ;D

bunch of craps..

hey all..
okay, honestly, i didnt do much writing dis lately..not in here, not in my diary..so, i dunno wut happened, but somehow, my english became sucks. LOL! seriously. i cant even remember how to spell 'reminiscing' for god's sake! yeap, i googled it..its dat bad..

so here i am..try to be awesome as before..pffttt... xp

everyone that knows me probably will know that music is my life..no, i didnt sing or write songs, nope..i simply listen to them..A LOT. back then when i wasn't driving, i'd pop in my earphone and just walk..doesn't matter d distance..the farther, the better..actually, u wont find me without music..even in d bathroom, i wud bring in my phone, hang it by d door, and, well, play songs. even nowadays, my mp3 is still kinda sorta my life..though i cant put them on while im driving..but hey, there's a radio in my car eh? =) though again, none cud beat d feeling of music in ur ears..i meant it..in ur ears..so basically, earphone, in ur ear..not just simply listening through the speaker..

so, for me, d most important part in music is d lyrics..although i cud not really explain when it comes to kpop or hindie or any other songs from other languages..of course i cant understand them..even certain songs are not lyrical at all such as techno..yet still, i listen to them..but what i meant is usually some of d lyrics are what really gets to me..not d entire song but certain line of lyrics..and those songs with such lyrics are always be d one that ended up on my GoList..

it was one of my habit to wrote down those lyrics and rearranged them, then put it in a paragraph, till it became, well, kinda like a story..then, i stopped, of course..cant tell why..well, my point is, i wanna try and do it again..let's see if d talent is still there..

hello there, the angel from my nightmare..i can't believe u were the one, to build me up and tear me down..well i never saw it coming, should have started running long, long time ago..look at this photograph.. every time i did it makes me laugh..i was june and u were my johnny cash, and the one without the other, we made a pact..u took my hand, u showed me how..u promised me, u'll be around..i took your words and i believed in everything u said to me..remember when we were such fools, and so convinced and just too cool? we could live like jack and sally if we want, where u can always find me..we'll have halloween on christmas, and in the night we'll wish this never ends..i remember all those crazy things u said, all those crazy things we did..like a little school mate in the school yard, we'll play jacks and uno cards..i'll be your bestfriend and u'll be my valentine..yes you can hold my hand if u want to cuz i wanna hold yours too..we'll be playmates and lover and share our secret worlds..i wish you were here..talked about the future like we had a clue..never planned that one day, i'd be losing you..was it something i did? was it something you said? i dont want to live a day without u..i just want to be the one that makes you happy..now and then i think of when we were together..like when you said you felt so happy, u cud die..we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we've lost it..so much for my happy ending..have you ever loved someone so much, u'd give an arm for? not the expression, no, literally give an arm for..but what happens when karma turns right around and bites you? what happens when you become the main source of his pain? we did not plan it to be this way..but things have gotten so bad between us, i dont see us being together ever again, like we used to be..but then of course things always happens for a reason..i guess it was never meant to be..and its just something that we have no control over and that's what destiny is. but no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep..maybe one day we'll wake up, and this will all just be a dream..now i heard u moved on..all these money cant buy me a time machine..its time to face the music, im no longer your mused. a new notch in your belt is all i ever be..and i realize the blame is on me..now u're just somebody that i used to know..i wake up in the morning..put on my face..the one thats gonna get me, through another day..doesnt really matter, how i feel inside..life is like a game sometimes..i cant remember when i didnt live through this disguise..i stuck in this life, i didnt ask for..what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you..?? what am i supposed to say when im all choked up and u're okay?? i try to say goodnye and i choked, try to walk away and i stumbled, though i try to hide it, its clear..my world crumbles when u are not near..so how do i say? do i say goodbye? the last kiss, i'll cherish until we meet again..i'll always look back, as i walk away..this memories will last, for eternity..time makes it harder, i wish i cud remember..but i keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep..when i found my way back, to your arms again..but until that day, u know you are, d king of my heart..you said move on, where do i go? i guess the second best is all i will know..cuz when im with him i am, thinking of you, what you wud do if you were the one who was spending the night..i wish that i was looking into your eyes..and i'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket but i got to get a move on in my life..its time to be a big girl now..and big girl dont cry..fairytales dont always have a happy ending do they? but that was love and its an ache i still remember. but just because it hurts doesnt mean you gonna die, u gotta get up and try..nevermind i'll find someone like you..i wish nothing but the best for you..i'll keep u lock in my head, untill we meet again..i wont forget you my friend..

hah! take that..!! woah, i guess i really do miss writing huh..hehe..none would read this long craps..but i'm happy..=) i need to do this much often..i need to listen to more songs..haha..well, thats it..till later..bye2..

me..

its a big turn off for me when a guy said 'ish, dah besar pun na g funfair ke..merepek je..'

yea...
i'm a big girl who loves all the fun stuff including the funfair..
i'm a big girl who still hasn't lost her touch with her inner child..
i'm a big girl who loves to have nonsense conversation and act ridiculously..

i would appreciate anyone who would cope and entertain me as myself..
but i would rather having someone who would not only would cope and entertain me,
but also would love and be as excited as i am with all those act..! =)

i am a girl who would
love to play around, splashing water, throwing flour, run here and there..
get excited whenever i see a funfair..
talks a lot whenever i'm comfortable..
fall down, knock my head around, stumble here and there, misplace things..
love to eat and drink lots of water..
cry for cats..
stop by the road side to feed stray cats..
slap, tug, pinch you on your face and hair..
hold your hand, chew your finger, play with your fingers..
sleep on you, even maybe would left my stale saliva on you..
use your hands and shirt to wipe my nose..
stuff you with popcorn, put the hair clip on your hair, then laugh at you..
wont mind if i broke a nail, if my shirt got stain, if my face is comot...
dont mind going somewhere and do nothing just to spend time with loves one..
give my best to surprise, to spend, to do ridiculous things just for the sake of a smile on my loves one face..
worry bout the most ridiculous and nonsense thing..
be mad at you for 1 minute, then ask for hugs or cuddles the next minute..
shout to you then would be saying sorry in less than 5 minutes..
bug you for my everyday nonsense conversation and daily report..
take your things and stuff to keep and cuddle with at nite..
think and take cr of you more than myself..
able cry then smile on the next minute..

i cant list it all..
those who knows me, knows me..
i am who i am..
if you think i'm being ridiculous, nonsense, annoying..
my best advice, stay away..

nampak remeh kan?

Manusia sering leka..serta terlalu yakin.. leka terhadap ajal yang mampu datang pada bila2 masa..serta yakin terhadap perancangan akan datang yang belum tentu pasti..

‘jumpa esk k..bye, salam..’          nanti jumpe lg k..bye, salam..

Confirm ke jumpe lg? lupa ke yang ajal boleh datang selangkah selepas kite berpisah? Kita sering menganggap remeh, take things for granted, terhadap apa yang kite ucapkan, ape yg kite buat kt seseorang tu bila berhubung..tak kira la jumpe ke, ckp dlm fon ke, sms ke..

Kadang2 gaduh sebelum berpisah.. kadang2 tak piker ape pun, stakat bye je..kadang2 salam pun tak..

Cube fikir, kalau ditakdirkan owg tu pegi buat slama2nye, apa yg ayat terakhir kite kat die? Ape yg kite buat terakhir dgn die?

Susah sangat ke utk keluarkan kata2 pesan, take cr..hati2..elok2..atau mungkin pada ibu bapa, gf bf,  kawan2, ucapan syg tu..

Mmg la kalau kite pesan pun, klau da ajal tu, tetap ajal..tp sekurang2 nye seblum owg tu pergi, die tau yang kite ni ambil berat pasal die..kisahkan die..syg die..and mungkin kite sendri pun tade la rasa menyesal sgt klau itu ayat terakhir kite pada diorg..

Tapi terpulang pada masing2 utk menilai erti menghargai tu..bak kate seseorg..

‘masing2 da besar kan..pandai2 la jga diri..takkan nak kena pesan bru nak buat..’

Betul la tu..masing2 da besar..betul la tu..takyah pesan pun, diri sendri tau…

Tp bukan itu yg jd persoalan..bkn nye tak pandai jga diri..bkn nye kena pesan bru nak buat..tp nilai dan makna pesanan tu..bila kite ucapkan pesanan tu, bukan sekadar hati2, elok2, take cr..tp maksud di sebalik pesanan tu..supaya org tu tau yg kite sygkan mereka, kesahkan mereka dan ambil berat tentang mereka..

Tp of cos la..tak suma owg kite syg, kite ambil berat, kite kesah kan..mungkin kite mmg betul2 tak amik kesah pun psal owg tu..sbb tu bye je pun dah memadai.. one’s trash could be one’s treasure..mungkin org tu tak bernilai bg kite, tapi org tu amat bernilai bg yang laen..

Jd terpulang la pada kesadaran masing2..pada nilai seseorg tu di mata kita..tak susah pun untuk ucapkan kata2 tu..lg susah klau dah jd, bru kita nak menyesal dan terkilan..

‘len kli kan bleh jumpe..esk lusa ade lg..bukan nye tak blk sni lg..’

Ye lah awak..InsyaAllah esk lusa ade lg..InsyaAllah len kli bleh jmpe..InsyaAllah sy akan blk sna lg..

Tapi..andai Allah kate esk lusa tade utk sy, andai Allah kate len kli tapat jmpe, andai Allah kate sy tak blk sna lg, awak take cr la k..jga diri elok2..sentiasa hati2..n jgn lupa..sy sygkan awak..

kebiasaan..

selalu orang kate, bile kite ilang seseorang tu, cari je la owg baru..
mmg la spatut nye cmtu..
bkn spatut nye, mmg patut pun..
tp ape yg membuatkan kite susah sgt na cri owg bru utk ganti owg tu..?

bagi aku, satu nye sbb prasaan..
ye la, bile da sayang..
bukan senang nak lupakan..
tp ade je orang yg bleh lupakan sekelip mata..
tp selain perasaan tu, bg aku ade satu lg perkara yg buat kite susah nak lupakan..
kebiasaan..
ari2 kte msg die, ari2 kte call die, salu jumpe..
tetiba benda tu ilang..
tp ade owg kate, 'ala, bleh je kite cari org len utk ganti kan..so sma je ari2 kte msg, call, jmpe ngan org tu..'
so ape yg kehilangan sgt?
btul la tu..klau cite psl ari2 msg, cll, jmpe, ngan sesape pun kite leh buat...
tp yg kite rindukan tu adalah kebiasaan yg wjud antara kite dgn org tu..
contoh cam ckp gdnyte b4 tido ke, ckp luv u ke..ckp muah muah ke..
so katekan la owg baru tu tak ckp gdnyte b4 tido sepertimana kebiasaan kte dgn owg lama tu..
takkan la kte na kna ckp kt die, eh i biasa seblum tdo ckp gdnyte tau..
kan da ta sedap tu..
klau dgn owg lma, tayah ckp..da tau da..da biasa..

so its not bout cari pengganti,.
pengganti takkan actually ganti yg ilang tu..
but of cos pengganti akan create kebiasaan yg baru..
yg akan buat kite lupa pada kebiasaan lama..
maybe..

awak..
klau sy ckp dgn owg laen 'nak yuk..', diorg akan tanya 'yuk tu ape?'
klau sy buat tanda ni \('_')/ kat owg laen, diorg akan tanya, 'ape tu?'

tp klau dgn awk, awk da tau kan..
itu la beza owg len dgn awak..

random quotes.. =)

There comes a point where you have to realize that you'll never be good enough for some people, but that's not your problem.

 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down, probably will.

even though she knows he doesn't deserve it, she still gives him every little piece of her. 

 

Nothing is permanent, especially people. Don't have your hopes high. Friends become strangers, lovers become friends & people leave. 

 

 
One day I hope you look back at what we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end. 

 

 
Loving someone who doesn't feel the same way is like using a white crayon on white paper. It's always invisible.

 

 I wish I was the one that you wanted. 

 

 
Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose

 

 
I like how the people you love could ignore you like you've never existed

 

 
I'm not sure what scares me more, that you will never start loving me or that i will never stop loving you. 

All i need to know is that im something you've been missing. 

No matter what happens, no matter what we do, I'll always remember the first time I saw you. 

 

 

always.

satu persoalan yang aku mahupun engkau sendiri tak mampu untuk memberi jawapan..

apa kesudahan kita..

no matter how far we ran away,

no matter with how many others we've been,

we've always,

always ran back to each other again..
 always found our ways in each other arms..